When I was about fifteen or so, I must have rolled my eyes at my mother every thirty seconds or so while lamenting (sometimes mentally and sometime out loud) that I couldn’t wait to grow up.
If I had only known then what I know now, as they say.
Recently, I organized my spice cabinet. Let’s pause and reflect for a moment that I am SO grown up that not only did I spend my Friday night organizing my spice cabinet, but that I do in fact have a spice cabinet.
Fifteen year old me would have wondered what kind of post apocalyptic insanity would lead me to this type of beige existence, and I have no real answer for her.
I am not unhappy with my life at all. Do I wish I had more money? Sure. Do I wish my husband would share my interest in Succulent rearing? Yes. Do I wish I had sixteen dogs? Absolutely. But I live comfortably with my one dog, my cat-who-thinks-he-is-a-dog, and my non-Succulent-rearing husband.
Is this what I imagined at fifteen, though? No, but I think most thirty-four year olds imagined something different for themselves at 15. If we’re being honest, I don’t even remember what I wanted to be or do when I was fifteen.
My high school yearbook says that I wanted to be a teacher. That is a laughable little nugget. There is no way in any iteration of hell that I would want to do that now. The yearbook also mentioned becoming a rockstar, but that didn’t happen either. 0/2 on future goals.
At some point, I decided that plants and dogs were the things I wanted in life, and never looked back.
I don’t like describing the way I choose to live my life now as “lame” because it would only be lame if I weren’t enjoying it. I guess a better way to describe it would be unexpected.
I do not expect to:
- Get excited about organizing my spice cabinet (or have a spice cabinet)
- Be excited upon the realization that I could order Pyrex replacement lids on Amazon
- Collect a bunch of wooden signs that say things like “Live, Laugh, Wine” and “You, Me & The Dog”
- Have a favorite stove burner, spatula, or skillet.
- Have a storage tub full of Christmas ornaments.
- Think that movie theaters are too loud.
- Start seeing the heart throbs from shows I used to watch now cast as parents (and in some cases grandparents).
- Be the sort of person who alphabetizes their DVDs
- Get excited about succulent propagation.
- Know what succulent propagation is.
I didn’t expect my life to turn out as it has, but I am happy with it. So even though I was in a hurry to grow up, and only to find out that growing up wasn’t what I thought it would be, I think that’s okay.
At some point, I decided that I wanted a 2 bedroom house and a wreath for my door, a big brown dog and a bunch of plants, and not the things (whatever they were) I wanted when I was fifteen.
And that’s okay.
It’s just unexpected.